So you can imagine what was going through my head last week when I received a phone call from a work colleague strongly encouraging me to apply for a job here in Mission. She phoned on a Thursday; the vacancy's closing date was the following Monday. The position involves community development work, a lot of which I already do. She thought I'd be perfect for it with the contacts I have here, plus the convenient fact that I not only live in Mission, I actually like the place.
She had an answer for all of my questions, specifically my desire to pursue graduate education. Not only is the organization supportive of continuing education, they'd pay for it. (That's how she obtained her master's degree.)
And then I told her that I still had several months remaining in my VISTA commitment. That wasn't a problem either; in order to accommodate a relocation back to the area, there was a several-month gap between when she accepted her position and her first day of work.
I promised her I would seriously consider applying. So, I sent an e-mail to the hiring manager asking those same questions of importance. His responses were a bit more understated, probably the result of my inquiry coming via e-mail versus over the phone or in person. The bottom line, however, was the position was a good fit for me, even if it meant modifying my long-term goals a bit.
I woke up Friday morning and jumped in the shower, where I do my best thinking. My decision was easy: to not apply. I determined it was the right job just at the wrong time. I've had a vision of what the grad school experience is going to look like, and working full-time while taking classes online is not going to get me there.
In some respects, I think I chose "the plan" over fate. But do I really even believe in "things happen for a reason"? At the very least, I decided to stay the course over pursuing an opportunity I didn't see coming at all.
I'm thankful to have gone through this exercise. I tell people all the time how much I love living in Mission and on the Rosebud. This was a chance to test my conviction. Am I fond of this place because my days here have always been numbered? Or could this be home indefinitely? I can undoubtedly answer the latter.
Now, instead of incorporating a third option into my post-VISTA life, I'm still at two. I won't be able to make a decision on which of two grad schools to attend, though, until what each has to offer is known.
Whether I end up in Vermillion or Boise next fall, it's going to be more difficult to leave here than I could have imagined a year ago. Looking back, I couldn't have left Delaware fast enough. Any trepidation I may have had leaving Texas and the life I had there was muted by the fact I was fulfilling my goal in moving to and living in Alaska. I left a great life in Juneau, but it was to pursue this new challenge on the Rosebud.
Maybe when I know where I'll be moving next, I'll be able to focus more on the future and not worry so much about what I'm giving up. I think that helped in Juneau. I knew I was moving to Mission for four months prior to my one-way ferry trip south. And I was ready to go by the time November 11 rolled around - even with the economic meltdown!
(Side note: I have to say, for better or worse, when I have a goal in mind, nothing is going to stop me. I mean, who quits their job and relocates to the reservation to become a professional volunteer during the worst economic environment since the Great Depression? One person's tenacity is another's tunnel vision, I guess.)
I still have plenty to look forward to during my remaining time in Mission. High school track starts up again in a month. I have several projects at work I'm excited about. I still have my sub-1:30 half marathon goal I need to accomplish (Brookings in May, hopefully). Spring is coming. And family will visit in June. I'm not done with the rez just yet.
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